homicidal somnambulism
Denny's should be the first restaurant on the moon

dennys:

omg Denny’s, you’re doing it right

WHOAH there, Joanna!

WHOAH there, Joanna!

S: Is this the second Mobius strip joke they've made in two seasons?
J: Maybe there's nothing new happening in science. /sarcasmfont
S: Nuh-uh, I follow "I Fucking Love Science" on Facebook and there's shit happening EVERY DAY. /HIGH
J: Unlike religion, where everything's been the same for 2000 years.

onejasonforsale:

(via TumbleOn)

best use of blingeez ever?

need to print this for my front dooooooor

need to print this for my front dooooooor

nihilnovisubsole:

adult pacific newt

nihilnovisubsole:

adult pacific newt

Are fainting goats the result of evolution or defective breeding? Cuz this seems like a damn fine way to get yourself eaten in the wild.

Are fainting goats the result of evolution or defective breeding? Cuz this seems like a damn fine way to get yourself eaten in the wild.

nerdfacekillah:

Me

I can’t stop watching, kinda feel like a sadist.

Kid: Black people don't play soccer.
Nick: Whole continents of black people play soccer.

deanprincesster:

one time this guy was hitting on me and he said “I’m loving the whole blonde hair, blue eyes thing” and I said “so did hitler” I literally said that to a person